A moment of WHOA!

So as I sit here typing this, I am getting ready to crash, before getting up and going to the last final of my undergrad career at Carthage College. It doesnt even matter that this final (the only one I have this finals week) is merely a presentation, it just feels weird. Why do I feel like I still have more to do? I feel like I always have this feeling, like there is more out there for me to do, to have, to take, to give...will I ever just be happy as is?

gah, I need to stop worrying...its all i seem to do lately...worry worry worry...about time, about money, about people I love, people I want to love, and the future. I trust that things will work out if they are meant to be, and everything finds a way to come together in the end...but what about that time period in between...that awkward "how do I know?,When will I know?" feeling...I think i'm constantly stuck there. I just want to know that things are going to be okay, and no one is going to leave me, or lie to me, and when someone makes me a promise, it will happen...will the world ever be like that? I don't know...

OMG. I'm graduating from college. HEELLLOOOOO WORLD! (ok, so maybe i'm going to grad school...but still) What if I don't want to grow up in this sense? always have a job, pay bills, answer my own questions? I guess you have to take the good with the bad. Maybe this is why i'm going into childrens theatre, so i dont have to feel like i'm growing up all the time-I can keep my childlike mentality around them and still be able to teach something.

OK, seriously, I need to go to bed, I have to get up super ridiculously early..for that last final. but hey, Here we go...and to be slightly honest...I Can't wait to get it over with and get out of here. I AM DONE. take me home, take me away, and let me breathe, if only for a while....

Because of course, the madness never ends.